Preparations and Anticipations

My Keyholder sent me a set of instructions today. It is very apparent from the instructions what is to happen to me. I am to offer up myself for her pleasure; I'm to offer up myself for her to penetrate me. I am a bit nervous. I'd say 70 % of the time, I don't enjoy this. I enjoy the submissive element of it, always, but i do not enjoy the physical sensations that accompany it. the other 30 % of the time it's incredible. THere seems to be no rhyme or reason as to whether it will be good or not. But the thought comes into my mind that it doesn't matter. I am my Keyholder's property. She can use me as she wills. I should feel lucky that she is as gentle and caring as she is. It could be quite the opposite, and I'd have to bear it anyway. SO, I anxiously will await my Keyholder's entrance, and will submit my all to her.