Preparations and Anticipations

My Keyholder sent me a set of instructions today. It is very apparent from the instructions what is to happen to me. I am to offer up myself for her pleasure; I'm to offer up myself for her to penetrate me. I am a bit nervous. I'd say 70 % of the time, I don't enjoy this. I enjoy the submissive element of it, always, but i do not enjoy the physical sensations that accompany it. the other 30 % of the time it's incredible. THere seems to be no rhyme or reason as to whether it will be good or not. But the thought comes into my mind that it doesn't matter. I am my Keyholder's property. She can use me as she wills. I should feel lucky that she is as gentle and caring as she is. It could be quite the opposite, and I'd have to bear it anyway. SO, I anxiously will await my Keyholder's entrance, and will submit my all to her.

Another day

Another day in chastity for me. I tick off another checkmark on the box. I know my keys are far, and will only get farther. I miss my Keyholder. The frustration level is rising; it's an almost physical thing. I have to watch myself, so on the edge am I. I shudder to think what my Keyholder will do upon her return. How she will tease me, how she will play with my nipples, how she will use me for her own pleasure. I shudder in anticipation and pleasure, and I think of her some more, and thus tease myself in her absence.

It continues

I feel like those prisoners that tick off each day in their lonely dungeon cells, except I don't know which day to tick off. I do know I'm north of three weeks, possible a month in chastity. It is making me very pliable. Today, I ate a piece of food that my Keyholder had spit out (it did conform to the five-second rule, though). I am also plugged for the day with a stainless steel plug. Small version, thankfully. Still, it's a constant reminder as to who owns me. When I hugged my Keyholder goodbye today, my cock swelled in its prison. If I'd had permission, I think I could have come in five seconds. Yep, it's been a long time. The really hard part is that we'll be apart this weekend. Locked in my blet, far away from the keys without any hope of even a tease, much less release.

Distance

My Keyholder had to leave a bit earlier than usual, so I have not gotten the full force of her teasings this week. Before she left, though, she locked me up, with the metal lock, in my chastity device. There is something that happens in my brain when she does that, like a switch being turned. This feeling is exacerbated when she drives away. I know I can't get out, and I know she's not going to let me out, not anytime soon. My cock is free to strain against its tight confines, but it will get no relief. How I miss her when she goes away like this. I have a fairly busy week and enough to keep me busy, but still. The only times I am left free is when she is around, which makes me want to be with her all the more. And yet, the further away she is, the stronger her leash to me becomes. A strange dichotomy.

In Deep

This weekend, I was away. Yet, my Keyholder's presence was there all of the time. I'm adjusting well to the new cb-6000s. It's by far the most comfortable device I've worn. I can even sleep through the night without bother. I'm not sure why, but it just places all the bits a bit better, and gets rid (mostly) of the "balls in a vice" syndrome. No one wants their balls in a vice. No one. I've been locked up in the belt, with only brief respites, for a few days now. I'm going on a month without orgasm. Maybe more. It feels like more. One of the things about my Keyholder's chastity play is that she doesn't tell me when I'll get to come. There is no countdown, or anything like that. It just happens when and how she wills it. I've been deep into chastity space. I saw her last night, but, I'd disobeyed. A minor thing, and one she would have given me permission for had I asked, but I didn't ask and I broke her rule. And I had to pay the price. Ten hard whacks with the cane were received with thankfulness. I can still feel the ghost of them today. And I had to sleep in the floor, at her feet. As far as myself goes, I don't mind sleeping on the floor. Of course, the bed is more comfortable, but the floor is fine – I would gladly sleep there every day if she demanded it. She even gave me a blanket and a pillow. But the reason it becomes a punishment to me is that I don't get to cuddle with her, which she enjoys. I am depriving her of something she enjoys, and it is this that pains me. I'll strive to do better. I am very deep into chastity subspace right now. It is always this way after not seeing her for a couple of days, specially a couple of days locked up. This morning, I cooked for her and did her laundry. In truth, all I wanted was to kiss her feet all morning, but she bid me off to work. Well, I have to work, too. But, I always wish that my work was simply existing as her slave....

Downsizing

It's happening all across America, and yesterday it happened to me. I was downsized. Literally. I've been wearing the CB-6000. It's comfortable, mostly, though it is a smidgen big in some clothing. Some pants I just don't wear because I look like a '70's porn star, with my package and all. Remember that scene from Spinal Tap with the cucumber? Yeah. Maybe not that bad, but still enough for me to be self conscious. The problem I've had with chastity cages is that I'm a "grower not a show-er." My Keyholder would attest to this, and to my adequacy in the "on" position. But, in the "off" position, meh, not much to look at there. So, my Keyholder ordered me the CB-6000S. Notice the "S" on the end. As in "short." Yep. I was downsized. We received the "package" and my Keyholder instantly put it on me. It was surprisingly much shorter than I thought it would be. The net effect of the new, smaller cage is that when I get erect, the erection simply doesn't have anywhere to start, so the process never really gets going. I did notice slightly more bulging at the root, and a change in the ring to the next size up solved that. My Keyholder kept me in the belt all night to test it out. I've also worn it all day, and the consensus is that it is good. It is actually more comfortable than the bigger one. Part of this is because, I think, the bigger one allowed the erection to get going, which pushed the shaft up, which squeezed the balls, which hurt, as all ball-squeezing does. The newer, smaller cage doesn't allow that process to start--it simply stops the erection (or lessens it) before it starts. The downside is that the head tries to escape through the slit at the front, whereas before it didn't. Another upside: it's much easier to pee. I can even do it standing up (yay, me!). With the bigger cage, it was hard to line up the slit. Sometimes, this made for messes. The smaller cage seems to keep everything more together and lined up. Not to mention it is more unobtrusive under clothing. The take-away from all this is this: fitment is critical. It's important to get something that fits as close to your flaccid size as possible. And the other take-away is: I've got a new-ish, thoroughly cleaned, disinfected and autoclaved CB-6000 for sale, with all brand new rings and hardware. Any takers? All in all, the downsizing has been good. I'm now locked up for the foreseeable future. At least until my Keyholder comes back to town on Monday. In the meantime, I'll try to enjoy my smaller confines.

She has me pegged

What can I say? My Keyholder has me pegged. She knows what I like, knows exactly how to tease me, how far to take me. The last couple of days I have been deep in subspace. She says, I do. I have pleased her and denied myself the pleasure of completion. We've tried some new things, too. I received a shower of the most special kind yesterday morning. Even had a sip of that special nectar. It was degrading, and I was completely okay with it, so deep was I into subspace. I had the pleasure of licking and kissing her feet, of serving her in more intimate ways. This morning she teased me for a good hour, at least. She allowed me to rub up and down in her bountiful bosom, and would not let me stop until I had lubricated it with my own desperate juices. Even then, she had me go on, rubbing and pinching my nipples all the while, maddening me to near ecstasy, but always one step short. She added to my service and humiliation by having me service her dildo. To my shame, I took it in my mouth, licked it, serviced it, all while she pleasured herself to orgasm. I, of course was left wanting. Afterwards, she pegged me. Literally. There is a mounted dildo on a wall-type device that we've concocted, and she had me slide back into it. There I was to remain, mounted, teased, engorged, a slave to her desires, while she got ready in the morning. I was her mindless drone, stored, ready to obey and serve, and I loved it. She had me kiss her feet, but she left to cater to her affairs. Desperate to serve, I asked for permission to lick the dust from her boots she had there, mindless of what I looked like, mindless of my dignity. After a time, she had me slide off and clean up. She placed me in my chastity belt, and sent me off to work. Now, I write this and my cock swells and pains me in the tight confines of the cage. And I am still hers to command. I would have it no other way.

My day off

Today was my day off, my day to do anything I wanted. Well, what I wanted was to volunteer to clean for my Keyholder. I am compelled by my desire to be of service to her. I went to her house while she was out on a date and cleaned. Scrubbed toilets clean, washed countertops, did dishes, cleaned the floor on my hands and knees. Though she was not there to supervise, the thought of her coming home to a clean place gave me satisfaction. Lest one think I did nothing else on my day off, rest assured that I had my own bit of relaxation and fun. My Keyholder wants me to have time to myself to rest and recharge and socialize. I am lucky to have such an ethical and good Keyholder. Men, be sure that whoever you give your chastity to is ethical, for at some point in chastity you will lose your reason and be willing to do anything your keyholder asks.

An ode

An ode to my Keyholder. She is the most excellent tease. She keeps me on the edge of pleasure and frustration. She allows me to please her, and I myself take pleasure in that. I long to give her my pleasure, to make my pleasure hers. I give her, willingly, my orgasm. Even if she allowed me to come, I think I would pass and give her my chastity, for it would make me a better, more doting slave to her. But, I beg regardless, driven wild by frustrated pleasure. And I hear her singing sweetly into my ear, "No." For that, I love her, and I serve her.

What a Week

What a wonderful week I've had, doting on my Keyholder, serving her, pleasuring her as best as I can. We took a nice trip together, and it was wonderful to see her happy. Part of this happiness is no doubt as a result of the relentless teasing she's been giving me. I am near to useless now, reduced to a whimpering state of pleading with a few carefully applied strokes. Last night I swear I had an erection all night. All it takes is the slightest breeze, the slightest touch from her, and I am filled with desire--a desire I know will not know fruition. Sometimes, she whispers in my ear that she will never let me come, that she wants to keep me at this level of attentiveness forever. I can't say I blame her. One down side to this near-constant excitement is that I feel I am less than useful to her for traditional pleasure. I still have other ways of serving her, and I beg for these, beg to be of use to her, to serve her. Today, going back to work, going away from my Keyholder, was difficult. She's locked me into the belt for the first time in a while. Even now, writing this, my cock strains at its prison. I want nothing more than to kneel at my Keyholder's feet and lick them, but alas work and life intrude. I know I have much to do, and I want to get through it quickly to go back and sit at her feet.

Trips and Teasing

What a wonderful few days these have been. Spending time with my Keyholder, traveling, catering to her. The last two nights she has allowed me to bring her pleasure. It has been a little while since I've had release, and I am starting to get back into chastity headspace. She has teased me a bit mercilessly, too. Whispering in my ear while I pleasure her that she will never let me come again. The thought fills me with such excitement and such dread.  It turns me on, I'm afraid to say. I think of what a longer time without release would be like. I forget exactly what my "record" is--like a month and a half or so. Funny, I don't really keep track of it. The number of days is irrelevant; I live at her whim. I would have it no other way.