Thursday, February 28, 2013

Sleeping at her feet

The last couple of nights, my Keyholder has stayed over. She has this rule: if I skip my training, I have to sleep on the ground. Well, due to out of town guests, crazy schedules, etc., I skipped my training. She was merciful, and allowed me a blanket and a pillow. I slept at the foot of the bed. I was tired, and slept like a rock. It felt like a rock, too. Then again, I must have some monastic tendencies as I like a firm sleeping surface. The next night, she allowed me to sleep at her feet, in bed. It really was quite wonderful going to sleep with my lips pressed to her soles. She dug her feet into my erection in the middle of the night. I had strange, sexy dreams the whole night, and slept quite well. I like that position, and would gladly do it every night. I can't wait for the next time.

Tuesday, February 26, 2013

Cause for Celebration

It's been a busy time, with much time spent with my Keyholder. So much done...I'm a lucky slave indeed. The other day I got to lick clean her dusty feet. Yum. I wish I would get to do this more. But the big news is she allowed me release. A few times. It was incredible, a very emotional and long and prolonged orgasm, as was the second one. I look forward to those orgasms, to hearing her give me permission. When she does, I can barely believe what I hear, and I usually have to ask for confirmation. It is a thrilling and bonding time for us both when it finally happens. The down side is the post-orgasm crash that accompanies any prolonged period in chastity. I know from prior experience that it will take a week or so to get back to "chaste-space." She has promised me a long haul this next time. I am a lucky slave indeed, and she is a fabulous Keyholder.

Wednesday, February 20, 2013

Time

So much to do, so little time. Life has been busy, social life, work life, family life, writing life. I feel like the one part that has not had its due is kink life. I've been craving it, craving spending some quality time with my Keyholder. The chastity itself is going well. If anything, it's gotten a bit easier because of the busyness. But oh, when she teases me--I can barely stand it. It has been a while--I lost count of the days, and I know she will push my chastity further this time. I figure I have a good month or two before release. I look forward to that, but I also look forward to her teasing. The way she fondles my nipples, the way she caresses my cock--they drive me wild and weak. They drive me to my knees in front of her. Which is my favorite place, actually.

Friday, February 15, 2013

Building

I like to test myself, to push myself and see how much of something I can withstand. This part of me does not get along with the "oww-baby" part of me, the part that savors comfort. I think it is this contradiction that makes life interesting. This morning, it was the test-yourself part that awoke early. There is this mat, which I described in a previous post. It is a simple, plastic mat with ridges on it. And it hurts like hell to kneel on. In fact, I could not stand it for very long before I was blubbering and crying last time my Keyholder had me on it. I always have this idea in my head of being stoic during punishments, of suffering, but doing so quietly. In my eyes, looking at it from a top's perspective, there is nothing sexier than seeing a quiet tears, and this is what I want to give my Keyholder. But the "oww-baby" comes out far too soon. Thus the need to train, to push myself. So, this morning I woke up with a need to do that. I got out the mat, got out the timer, and proceeded to see how long I could kneel on it, in "child's pose" so that the weight was distributed to my shins. The mat doesn't mess around; it is painful from second one. My legs, especially my shins and the tops of the feet, were in instant agony. I focused on breathing, focused on the pain, tried to will it away. I thought of my Keeper resting her feet on me in this position, of standing before me, observing me, drinking me in. Trying to shift was fruitless -- it only brought new pain. Holding still was the best solution. I tried as best I could, and finally rolled off. It felt like half an hour. It was just under three minutes. Now I have a benchmark, and I can present this to my Keyholder, as I do here, as to where my current limit lies. I know she will expand that limit. I'm also excited because today I get to clean for my Keyholder. I feel I do not perform enough service to her. I have a very full and busy life, and my Keyholder respects this. But, it would be nice to exist as nothing but a slave, and not be distracted with little things like power bills and car insurance. :)

Thursday, February 14, 2013

Back in my Keyholder's Arms

Finally back from my trip, I melted into my Keyholder's arms. It was so good to see her, to hold her and, once we got home, to bow down before her and kiss her feet. For the next two days, I was fairly exhausted, my schedule out of whack, so nothing incredibly strenuous was put on me. It was good to relax with my Keyholder, to be teased mercilessly by her, to feel and savor her touch. She's been gone ten minutes now and already I miss her. I miss the feel of her hands as they expertly tease my nipples, I miss her electric touch on my shaft. I miss cuddling with her, and pleasing her. The last couple of days she has allowed me the honor of pleasing her--I savor her taste still. I wish I could be kept for nothing but this, just be her tool of pleasure. I suppose in a small way I am. My maintenance canings have been hard to take. I suppose I'm out of practice after a week or so of no caning. I've been trying to keep composed during them, but afraid I have not been successful. I'm going to try and redouble my efforts, perhaps even ask for more harshness in order to better grow my pain tolerance, though I fear to ask for this. I can't wait to see my Keyholder again, but I'm afraid I must.

Sunday, February 10, 2013

Away, and a surprise

I've been away--am away, actually, on a trip. It is difficult being away from my Keeper. I always wish she were by me. The good thing is I know how good it will be to see her. I did get a bit of a surprise... A collar. A very elegant and beautiful collar that she had me buy remotely. It is nice to wear, but will only be real when she herself puts it on. Funny--at the end of the day it is always her words that bind me....

Sunday, February 3, 2013

Oh what a night

All weekend I had thought about what my Keyholder would have in store for me. After I got back into town, I soon found out.
It started off well enough. After stripping and kneeling before my Keyholder, she stroked my cock, which I haven't been allowed to touch. It was a delight--the sensation was overwhelmingly pleasurable.  It was not to last.
All manner of gear was set out. I was allowed to take my pick of nipple clamps--unfortunately, I only found one set -- the "eagle talon" ones. These are extremely painful; their only saving grace is that they do not hurt as much when taken off. These were set aside while I got into position.
My Keyholder had set up a milking machine of sorts: a penis pump attached to a fucking machine. In front of this was a mat with raised hard plastic ridges. My hands went in leather mitts, and were fastened behind my back. Blindfold and ball gag completed my outfit. On the mat I went, kneeling. Now, for anyone that hasn't kneeled on a hard surface, or a ridged surface, or on chickpeas or chains or what-have-you, let me tell you: it's tough. It's punishment/torture enough on its own after five minutes. I was scooted into position and my poor penis that hadn't gotten any attention went into the milking machine. Soon, it was to receive more attention than I ever wanted. The machine started up, slowly. Not too bad. Not pleasurable, not like a hand. It was - mechanical, relentless.
The nipple clamps went on. I was making some strange noises by then. They hurt--a lot. To these torments, my Keyholder added a nose clamp to keep me still.
I could barely stand it. There was no pleasure at all in the situation. The milking machine, an afterthought. My entire being was focused on my knees, the cruel wedges digging into them. I cried out. I begged. I tried to overcome the pain. I tried to master it, but it got to be too much. I moved, managing to lean back and take my knees off the wedges. My Keyholder scolded me and had me lean back on it, and whipped me for moving without permission. One of the strokes curled around and bit me on the hip -- always painful.
At this point, a masochist would be in heaven. I, however, am not a masochist. I like to see how far I can endure things, but I take no pleasure from them. My Keyholder relented, and took the mat away. I leaned down on the carpet, and controlled myself, and thanked her profusely. I still had the nipple clamps and nose hook to deal with, not to mention the relentless milking machine, but these were bearable, for now.
I don't know how long it went on for. My Keyholder had set up all manner of videos of moaning women in the background to further tease me.  My body started betraying me, and my Keyholder started, one by one, taking the torments off. Nipple clamps, then the nose hook, then a change of positions. All the while, the milking machine mercilessly mechanically milked my manhood. I will get spanked for that last line, I'm sure.
After a while, I was placed in a chair ("bring out the comfy chair!"), and the milking machine kept up its relentless drive. It was a interesting experience--not pleasurable, but it got me close to the edge a couple of times by its sheer relentlessness. Needless to say, I was not allowed to come at any point in the night...
The ordeal was punctuated at times by my being allowed to pleasure my Keyholder. As she brought her sex to my face, I was ecstatic, and privileged, to be able to pleasure her. This is what I long for, most of all, to pleasure my Keeper like this.
It was a long night, but I was thankful to my Keyholder for her inventiveness and attentions, and I look forward to further service to her.

Friday, February 1, 2013

The waiting is the hardest part

My Keyholder has just thought of a special torture for me. She promises me that Sunday, she shall inflict it upon me. I am alternately dreading and turned on by it.... In two long days, I'll find out what it is.

Chores

I was able to go to my Keyholder's house yesterday to do some chores. Due to a busy schedule, I don't get over there as much as I'd like. It was satisfying to clean for her, to scrub the toilets clean, to wipe the floor on my hands and knees, and to leave the place clean. She helped also by straightening up, etc., which I, and I'm sure other subs, appreciate very much. There's nothing worse than going into a house to clean, only to find no surfaces visible for all the stuff everywhere. Been there, done that, in the past, and it is refreshing to serve a tidy domme :)
Anyway, this is a chastity blog, so a report on the chastity: my exile from my cock continues. I am not allowed to touch it, except for the bare minimum to clean, and am not allowed to gain pleasure from it unless my Keyholder grants it. It is a different feeling; I crave her touch even more. I think of her teasing me, and I crave it all the more. In the belt, I tried not to think of her teasing, as it brought on uncomfortable erections. Being "free", this is not an issue, and I find myself thinking more of her ministrations.  I miss her very much, and can't wait to see her again.